To answer your question ” have you thought about where you were 5 years ago?”

Five years ago I was living a different life. I was just about to marry someone that I wasn’t sure I wanted to marry, but felt like I should. ( Ignoring my instincts) I was in love with the idea of someone loving me, but knew deep down I didn’t feel what I should and either did he. Five years ago I started my life “Pretending” to be happy.
After a while I got really good at it… so good at it that none of my closest friends even knew what I was really feeling inside. It’s draining to live your life like that. Everyone that met him use to say ” you are so lucky to have a husband like that” “my gosh your husband is sooo handsome, you are so lucky” ” what a lucky girl you are”… I kept a smile frozen on my face. Always smiling… ALWAYS HAPPY.
Sometimes I would think to myself, if they only knew. A husband that was never home, a husband that enjoyed other women’s company more then your own, a husband that lied almost every time he opened his mouth….
Then I met her…. Someone I could be myself around. Someone that showed me that it was ok to be honest with myself. Someone that I felt I could tell my darkest deepest secrets to. Secrets that had been buried for years. It felt good to release them all. Not only was she my best friend, but I felt like she was a part of my family. It didn’t matter what she did, I always had her back and watched out for her best interests, as she did the same for me. Neither one of us filtered what we had to say to each other. EVER. Then one day that all changed too.

Fast forward five years. I stand alone without either one of those people in my life anymore. One feels good to be rid of, like a bad rash. The other… well, I’m dealing with it the best way I know how.
Surrounding myself with people who really do love me. First and foremost my children. They are the reason I breathe, the reason I make the decisions I make in my life, the reason for my existence.
I’ve learned one thing that’s very important in the last five years, NEVER SETTLE… In love, In life, never ever fake the smile that you just don’t feel inside your heart, just so others will think that you have it all together.
Moving on I have found myself, which brings me true happiness. Now when you see me smile, you can bet your ass it’s genuine.