Do you ever wonder why people think that the changing of the year is going to change their lives in some miraculous way?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.. What’s that saying ? Out with the old in with the new.. Something like that. Out with the bad in with the good? Whatever.

Lets be realistic here. Did all your problems wash away as the ball dropped in NYC this year? Did you wake up today with no worries of the past? Probably not.

Let’s face it. The New Year may not solve all of our problems over night, but it does give us the one chance to say, I am going to change this about my life in the New Year. It gives us the opportunity for a “do over” of sorts.

There are a lot of things that I would love to change in my life that occurred this past year. When I look back on certain situations that have occurred I realize that I have not always taken the high road. I realize that a lot of things that have happened I am partly to blame. I cannot take all of the blame for all of the things that have happened to me over the last year, but I am woman enough to admit I am not perfect and I do err on occasion.

The one regret I have is not saying goodbye to Lyn. Not dealing with her death in a mature way. I took the low road, the easy way, or so I thought. Since her death my life has changed drastically. I have made some very bad mistakes, I have lost a lot of faith in the things I held dear to me in my life. I’ve lost total trust in one of the most important people in my life. I’ve lost my dignity in some cases. It has been a long hard road of self reflection. I didn’t like the person I saw looking back at me. The person I have become.

For me the New Year means a lot of work. Work on myself, work on my marriage, work on my family, becoming a better mother, a better friend, a better wife. Maybe even opening my heart to a higher power. (I’m in no way religious, but I do believe somewhere out there someone is watching). Becoming the bigger person and righting wrongs. Remembering that it’s ok to not always be right in everyone’s eyes. It’s ok if people don’t like you, it’s their right, it’s also mine not to like them back.
The New Year.
Remember to love yourself first. Remember it’s ok to make mistakes. Remember it’s ok to be yourself, as long as you don’t lose who you are.